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| I have this problem.
Apparently the problem is that I actually like to be friends with girls.
Don't get me wrong, actually being friends with girls is good- it usually fun and enjoyable. The problem comes in when I start falling in love with the girls I'm friends with. This only leads to pain for me.
Of course, the girls I'm friends with claim that ideally they'd date their best friend. Then they call me "one of their best friends" then they won't go on a date with me.
I don't hate the girls, I hate myself for falling into this same trap over and over again. I'm eternally optimistic that my female friends will someday let me out of the friend zone and actually move forward with a relationship. Unfortunately, I'm usually only teased by them, then relegated to being a spectator and counselor- fuck that shit - I think I'd be better off without female friends.
One would think that I would have learned by now that playing it slow and being a girl's friend before dating her doesn't help anything - it only hurts things. Of course, I'm dumb and cowardly, so I'm not likely to ever learn this lesson. | | |
| I should probably apologize for not publishing here more often. I really want to keep in touch will all my friends, who are now spread all over the world, but as my life flips back and forth between interesting and mundane, it seems I either have no time to write, or nothing worth writing.
I just arrived back in SF yesterday from spending 8 days in Austin, TX. I know a bunch of you guys live in TX, but I'm sorry I didn't have time to come visit you.
I was there for South By Southwest (SxSW for the hip), a combined Music, Film and Interactive festival which happens every March. I went for the Interactive part for work (its mainly about web stuff, which is, you know, my gig), but stayed for 4 more days to watch films and see some shows. I've already posted on my other blog about the shows I got to see (here and here). I got to see a ton of great music.
The week was so good, that I actual felt sad when leaving. I don't remember that last time I was in a place which I enjoyed so much it made me sad to leave. I think I feel a bit trapped by everything here in SF, especially by school. I've committed to doing school and should be done by December, but this commitment makes me feel trapped and immobilized. I'm not sure why, but I think that makes it harder for me to get work done.
Also, I feel trapped in that as I meet people who know my work (both in school and at technorati), conversation is always around the stuff I've worked on. Its great that people are fascinated by the stuff I get to work on (if they even understand it), but, you know, I have other interests, I don't want to talk about work all the time. I'm sure other people understand, but its hard to bridge that gap.
On a related topic, a weird thing kept happening to me this last week. First of all, let me give you some background– the company I work for (part-time while finishing my MS) is rather popular, well-known and respected in the web geek and blogger communities. I, for one, am honored to even get a chance to work there.
So, when I got to conferences in this community, people recognize me– they know who I am and there's an automatic bit of respect. It makes me uncomfortable; I think I just don't like the attention that much.
The attention comes from everyone, from middle-aged men who're venture capitalists (ie, they have lots of money to invest in people who have ideas for new companies) to web developers and designers (including beautiful women). I'll come back to the beautiful women in a minute.
An event happened at SxSW which made the situation more dramatic.
The second night of the interactive conference, they hosted a Web Awards ceremony. These are perhaps the more prestigious awards a website can earn, at least in terms of web design and engineering.
Anyway, Technorati and another project we run were both up as finalists for 'Best Technical Achievement' and we won for Technorati.com, which was a total surprise and honor.
Additionally, we also won 'Best in Show,' which means out of the winners in all 16 categories, the judges like Technorati the best. Excuse the cursing, but... holy shit! the best web designers in the world are sitting in the room and me and a co-worker are on stage.
Anyway, back to the beautiful women, 'cause I know that's what you're here for, the stories about Ryan and the pretty girls and how Ryan fails to get the pretty girl.
The next night after the awards, I was at a party thrown by one of the companies at the Interactive festival, when this beautiful girl walks up to me and says 'remember me?'
Now, for the the guys out there, you know this is a stressful point. I mean, *should I* remember her? Have I really forgotten this beautiful (and I mean, she was a 10) woman?
Alas, I had.
She goes on to explain that she was the 'awards show girl,' you know the girl that's all overdressed and hands you the fancy glass trophy on stage? Yeah, that was her, and she remembered me from the ceremony. Not only had she remembered me from the ceremony, but she hinted that she's actually been shy to come talk to me. I about lost it then. Maybe I should use this to my advantage, but I totally don't know how. I don't know how to be a celebrity.
Anyway, after chatting with this girl for a bit, I figured a few things out:
1. her name is rebecca
2. she's still incredibly hot
3. she has the cutest little east-texas accent
4. she lives in austin
5. she's a total computer geek
6. she's cool
7. see #2
Anyway, long story short, I totally failed with her. Why do I say that? I don't even have her phone number.
After chatting with her, I was certain I'd see her again or that's she'd see me, so I didn't even think about getting her number.
After that, I spent 4 days running around watching some indie rock music, but I didn't forget Rebecca, I looked around for her everywhere, but with 10,000 people attending the music festival (plus the whole city of Austin), the odds were against me.
But, just imagine if I'd run into her again somewhere. Now, that'd make a good story. | | |
| Have you ever met someone who made you happier to be who you are? | | |
| Dear 2006,
Why'd we have to meet with me in the bathroom throwing up?
Thanks,
ryan | | |
| I really need a vacation- for like a month.
School + work + other stuff = too much. | | |
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